The first time I heard the term "Oxymoron", I thought it meant a dumb Ox...but then again, people tend to judge animals such as and ox, DUMB..never underestimate stupidity. The word "Oxymoron" means: a paradox reduced to two words, usually in an adjective-noun or adverb-adjective. In plain english it means : a phrase containing contradicting claims. If you still don't get it you must be one of the many neanderthals of the world.
What I'm getting at here is that at the moment my life seems to be a never ending swirl of mix-and-matched oxymoron. It's still the utterly boring normal contradictions in life but it's still enough to simply drive me mad. I mean, seriously! What the hell am I suppose to think about at such an age other than boys, school, friends and not-turnin-disgustingly-obese-while-still-able-to-scarf-down-fatty-junk-foods-and-drinks? That was a rhetorical question. Still! It's so normal that it drives me insane! Sure, I think and consider the occasional lets-kill-ourselves-life-has-no-meaning-the-world-sucks-and-all-that-lovely-and-wonderful-shit and I-want-to-kill-you-all-you-bastards-and-bitches but honestly, that's as far as it goes. No world domination plans (other than on a whimsical moment where I've been consuming a large proportion of sweets, caffeine and/or alcohol. I have yet to smoke pot and am not planning to anytime soon), no I-want-your-babies thoughts (though there has been some jokes and teases), no lets-bomb-the-school (okay, there HAS been thoughts of that), no damn other thing except normality! How boring is that?! I mean, I don't wanna go bun-jee jumping or Base jumping (Actually, I do want to try Base jumping, it sounds fucking awesome and yet so overwhelmingly scary) just for the sake of having my adrenaline go pumping and me being in the state of paranoia, I can get enough of that by sneaking out and getting into trouble then running away from overweight principals...no offense, yeh. So...before I begin to ramble on into a string of words that would mount to actually nothing at all, I conclude that this life is BORING! What does a girl have to do to get some fun? Some abnormality and excitement? Run into the woods? Jump off a thousand-storey building? Play hooky? Strip? Club? WHAT?! I mean...back then there was the whole war thing and adventure and whatnot, people tell me I should be thankful and crap but since I've grown up with it and it's always been there, how the hell am I suppose to be grateful?! Why do you think I read so much? To run away from reality! Why do you think I write so much? Draw so much? Why do you think I fucking dream and fantasize so much? Cause I can't have it in this oh-so-dreary life! Oh woe is me, the Gods seem to see it fit that I should simply deteriorate with old age with nothing better to do than suck it up, be a big girl, and finish my part in finishing this crappy life, give birth to an equally boring child that's to be condemned to live in a growingly boring world that's no more than a Life that's sprouting invisible cage bars!
It's so pathetically sad. Just sad sad sad. That's why this year I've adjourned to become slightly more crazy...my new years resolution was to actually have fun and do something significantly crazy this year! Something you could remember when you're old and rotting with saggy boobs, balding hair and all that jazz. Doesn't anyone get it? My mom says you can't have both an actual life and successful work life. You can only get one. I want both. Oh selfish me. I'm gonna prove to you all that I can get both! Damn you all! I'm gonna have my way, die trying, and get a therapist to see me through it! If the therapist disagrees with such planned actions I shall either have his testicles removed or her fallopian tubes..or ovaries. Believe me, I can find out how. The joy of an insane life beckons to me invitingly. Damn the beuty of temptation. We shall see who lives longer..my body, my will or my sanity. Then again...I'm already the sanest insane person of this world in my most stubborn opinionated head.
